NAU NUA: ANNA FENINA

Inner beauty

Anya is an amazing girl. She is 23 now and by this time she had already recorded some reels for her songs, moved to Saint-Petersburg from a province and got married. Then after 2,5 years of marriage she became a young widow but her spirit was not overcome. Always cheerful and joyous Anya leads a School of Guarding Handicraft where together with her friends she inspires an interest to Russian traditions and Slavic culture and teaches handicraft. Besides Anya was the first in Russia who picked up and spread a wonderful idea of Indian mandalas called Ojos de Dios (Eng. - The Divine Eye). She travels through immense Russia telling the story of mandalas and showing how wisdom of centuries and heart purity are interlaced with one another in a colourful braiding.

Tell us please about your reckless adolescence! :) What was your life like before you left for Saint-Petersburg? What gesture of yours do you reckon to be the craziest in your life?

I was born and grown up in Yoshkar-Ola, it’s 800 km to the East from Moscow. This town is small but I did my best to find anything interesting for my development. I took part in all the competitions and conferences, was engaged in historical reconstruction of past events, sang in band and practiced playing musical instruments, traveled hitch-hike through the whole Russia… The most insane was to travel alone. I contrived to cover 30000 km in common – from the polar circle to the South. Now I can hardly imagine to dare it :)

Who taught you Ojos de Dios braiding?

I got acquainted with an amazing woman. It was one of such events that can be appreciated as value only after some time passed. Unfortunately a lot from that meeting was deleted from memory and I also didn’t try to memorize in details. Her name was Ayna, she was very beautiful woman with black shiny hair. She visited Russia with her husband and son. Ayna told me that her granny - pure-blooded Indian – taught her a wonderful craftsmanship of making Ojos de Dios. This skill Ayna confided to me. I was 12 or 13 then, we communicated mainly on English. Later I combined given knowledge with my thoughts and created a program of Ojos de Dios braiding that I teach everyone who requires.

I know mandala is not just sticks with brightful braiding on them. What does it mean for you?

For me Indian mandala is an opportunity to correct my life path – by making handicraft in harmony with thoughts. Also it helps me find answers from subconsciousness, inflates with power of nature and instills confidence of my own strength in me. Handicraft always reveal feminine energy in women, it makes us speak with the whole world on a special language that can’t be understood with logic. Indian mandalas are palettes with colours that I use to make my life and space around me bright.

How does mandala creation process occur?

Sometimes the process is predictable and serene – I decide to braid, prepare everything for it, then dive into process of creation and - here you are! - the mandala is done! But sometimes it’s like an obsession. Once I was going in a subway transporting documents to a bank for some business… Suddenly I felt I had to make a mandala! It seemed to me something was happening and I could exert influence on it by my braiding. I got off the train, took clews from my bag (I always carry a couple of them), plucked sticks and began making a mandala sitting on a bench. People around me wondered what happened but I didn’t care. I put thoughts in order, opened my heart and tried to fill my work with love. I was unaware of whom I was braiding for but I felt gratification after my work was done.

Do you feel relation to Indians? May be you were Indian in a previous life?

I think so. Even when I hadn’t thought of reincarnation yet – in my childhood – I fringed my shirts and trousers, made beadwork and adored leather trappings. My favourite shoes have always been moccasins. Well I like Indians and their way of life very much! But I realize no matter what was in past it’s no good to cycle in it. My inner voice says to me: “You have your present life here in Russia, live it and make it wonderful!”

May I ask you about event of October, 2009? (Anna’s husband died in a car crash.) What helped you continue living full life?

That October… I wasn’t ready to accept all what happened then. In 2007 I met Dima, he was the most wonderful man in the world – wise and patient. We learned to create a fairy-like family together… We followed the success step by step. 2,5 years we lived as a family and 1,5 years of them we were married. The day before his 29^th birthday Dima crashed in his car.

The first thing I forbade myself to think about is “what would happen if…” and of course I banned all thoughts about my fault. These things can destroy everything good inside me and I have already had everything ruined around me. I wished to keep safe at least myself.

Eventually I found myself with some trunks, credit at bank and without money. For some time I gave way to despair. But it turned out that so many people around me were ready to support me in my trouble. With many of them I hadn’t been acquainted by that time and until now I have no idea how they found me. They helped in many ways – gave advice, attention, resources… They even organized charity to support me in a difficult financial situation. I wouldn’t manage to get over without such a prop.

Sometime after I caught a wisdom of all that has happened. It took a month. (You may be astonished but for those who faced such a trouble time passes in another way.) I understood that I have to share my thoughts that soul is immortal and that it’s not necessary to forget love – it is both “here” and “there”. I became to make notes in my online journal and found out how many women in Russia lost their beloved. I started to support and inspire them and one day I felt myself necessary for anyone again. It was the first difficult phase that I left behind.

Almost 1,5 years have passed since that time. I haven’t overcome all asperities yet especially those concerned with financial situation. But I believe everything will be all right if I keep faith in myself and follow my inner voice.

You said Dima had changed you… and even after his death he helps you to alter. How does it happen?

Dima is love and patience incarnate. I’d only read in books about such a love until I met him. I’ve learned from him how to forget about my ego (especially when it concerns to my relatives), dismiss resentment and get up if I fell down. When I face some choice I ask Dima “How do you think I should act?” – and answer comes like slight impulse. It appears in heart and always turns out to be true. My husband is close to me still but not in such way as before. I learn to maintain a new tie with my relative soul.

In your online diary you write miracles always happen with you. Could you impart them to us?

Not long ago it warmed up outside and there turned out to be many icicles hanging on roofs – they are a real disaster of my city. I was on my way back to my studio when suddenly heard someone’s speaking from my pocket! When I took out the mobile phone I could hardly believe my eyes – the phone dialed Dima’s number itself and I heard a voice of robot “The mobile phone you are calling is switched off…”. I was standing for two seconds in perplexity thinking of strangeness of this situation when suddenly a huge ice lump broke into pieces in a step from me. I remained whole excluding a small injure by a sharp piece of ice and some snow on my clothes! My friends noticed I came back in a mysterious mood – thoughtful with a smile on my face. When I told them a story of my wonderful life-saving they said it was a miracle :) And I think so. It’s so good to have a magician husband! :)

What do you believe in? In spite of miracles :)

I believe in God, also believe that before incarnation our souls choose life lessons in case to become wiser and more cordial. And that we create present life by our thoughts and actions. I have a strong faith that happy family is not a myth but a hard work connected with love and patience. I believe life on nature far from civilization is really a good idea. I accept that all talents are available for everyone to develop. I believe in a collective intention power. And I feel that our planet is on the threshold of amazing event.

Do you believe in Mayan prophesy for 2012? How should people change to make the year 2012 be the beginning, not the end?

I think wise Mayan wouldn’t fabricate information about 2012. This date will be significant in a certain way. But everyone has one’s own preparation. The most important is to remit fears and begin living as the New Age Human. We should develop our virtues, look attentively at our character and transmute demerits into merits. Also it’s important to put in right order our thoughts and actions, maintain relations with natives. If you believe that nature disasters are inevitable and you are scared of that, well, prepare yourself to life on nature without electricity: familiarize with health-giving plants and natural detergents, learn ways of house building… We have no time to reflect on what will or won’t happen. We should use present time properly to improve our life. If everyone acts that way the world crisis is off.

Are mandalas useful for us to guard from stress?

Mandala is one of the most wonderful and grace ways of interaction between the soul and world. If you accept mandala as an aid it will make your inner work lighter and in addition beautify the walls in your house :)

Interview by Anastasia Stolyarova

Photos courtesy of de Anna Fenina