Widow songs
Loneliness can be a real torture for many. The search for the other as a balm to the harshness that is left alone with one's thoughts is almost a drug converted in social convention. The beauty, however, arise from loneliness. To recognize it is the courage to know that it is far and yet very close to us. Nothing to do with puppets in hands of the rules in which many seeks to have the normality’s diploma. Marissa Nadler sings all these ghosts, from tenderness and pain. After wonders like Ballads of Living and Dying (2004), The Saga of Mayflower (2005), Songs III: Bird on the Water (2007) and Little Hells (2009), now features a disk where to put her own emotions again, Marissa Nadler (2011). A beautiful voice came from a beautiful soul.
Your new album is self-titled “Marissa Nadler”. Do you really know Marissa Nadler?
I have no idea how to answer this without sounding pretentious, but I can try! I think I do know myself well, yes. There is a dichotomy between my artistic self and my other self. I am getting better at understanding the connections between the two. I try to put all the pain and sadness in my art so that I can get through each day and be happy. I think art is a good place to put those emotions.
What kind of communication are you looking for with the audience?
When I write about difficult subject matter, I want people listening to know that they have someone also feeling that same pain. I like to write about the human condition with the hopes of connecting with people. I don't want to be put on a pedestal. I just want to make my art and if people like it and connect with it then I consider it a good thing. I think sharing something with an artist is a beautiful thing. I know I feel very moved when I hear a song and I know what that writer or singer is singing about.
“Marissa Nadler” starts in a lair singing a beautiful song, like a sweet rain falling down in the early morning. “In your lair, bear”, is it about a kind of escape from something?
"In Your Lair, Bear" is me telling a story about hibernation and depression, but with a very sweet vocal delivery. I also speak of love affairs that haven't worked out well, and the whole song is past tense. Seasons come and go and seasons change, and it is a revolving thing.
“Alabaster queen” sounds as a cold fear growing inside you. What does the alabaster queen bring you?
This song is about my unrequited love for a man. I wanted to be with someone that didn't want to be with me. It is the oldest tale in the world. I am the "Alabaster Queen" in this song, and I am painting a fictional portrait of my desire to be the queen to his king. A song about unrequited love and desire and lust.
Light shines in your voice and the slide guitar in “The sun always reminds me of you”. Do you think love can blind us?
Of course. It can ruin us, especially if it doesn't turn out well. In this song, I am expressing that I cannot even go outside because everything, even the sun, reminds me of this man that I lost.
Could you tell us about Mr. John Lee?
Mr. John Lee appears as a character on my second record, The Saga of Mayflower May. In the first song, I create a fictional murder ballad to deal with some obstacles in the way of me being with my love. In this new song, I revisit the characters in a realist setting and bring some closure to something from years ago. Mr. John Lee is a fake name for someone I once really loved.
A more obscure atmosphere surrounds you in “Baby, I will leave you in the morning”. To die in order to be reborn?
This song is about running away. I think you do sometimes have to hit rock bottom before getting a renewed chance at life. Every musical key change in the song deals with another relationship.
“Puppet master” is an image that makes me thing in our role in society. Have you feel like a puppet sometimes?
Yes, but this song isn't about being a puppet in society. It is about being a puppet in a relationship, and not having control. I had a long relationship that really was a master slave relationship, emotionally speaking. This song is about being held emotionally captive, like a puppet on a string. The song is also about breaking free and recovering from that kind of relationship. I cut the strings.
And a doll appears with the wind in “Wind up doll”. Has your childhood leave a deep track in your mind?
Wind up doll is another sequel song, this time to the song "Box of Cedar." I revisit a war widow who in the earlier song has lost her husband. He comes home in a box of cedar. "Wind Up Doll" takes place later, and revisits the female character as she tried to love again. She fails, and she is like a "wind up doll", needing to be wound up like a robot or a machine to get through the day. I can certainly relate, as I have suffered from depression most of my adult life. The song is very much about me.
“Wedding” starts in a disturbing way but suddenly it turns to a magical sound born in your personal world and asking for a chance to your love. Is there place for romanticism in this crazy world?
Absolutely. I am a die hard romantic. This song is about something very simple- wanting to get married and to share your life with someone. It is about waiting for someone and waiting to be with someone.
Give me some light.
I have given you some light.
Interview by Juan Carlos Romero
Photo courtesy of Marissa Nadler