Vox Sanguinis
but the clouds weep for that same blood
I arrived at night
at a grey and silver station
I was looking out of the mouth of a whale
surrounded by glittering teeth, shimmering stars reflected on trembling waves
my hand was bruised
I smashed it on my trip
I couldn't remember when
but it was spreading
I was looking out of the mouth of a whale
surrounded by glittering teeth, shimmering stars reflected on trembling waves
my hand was bruised
I smashed it on my trip
I couldn't remember when
but it was spreading
crushed petals purpling white flesh
this is the city where we never met
this is the city where we never met
where I fell in love with everyone
who you had touched
I was falling slowly
a burning feather
a ray of light in love with the crest of a wave
a ray of light in love with the crest of a wave
long vanished into the shore
away
this is the city where I walked
into pulsating blue light
drunk and dehydrated
we were out at a boy bar in a sea of bodies
no one checked me out
no one checked me out
that night I slept in a basement on a couch with no blanket
with springs sticking out
a cat crawling over my face
you were upstairs
I stuffed my hand in my mouth to stop crying
sobs folded into echoes of light
sobs folded into echoes of light
silver origami birds
a soft white world by a lake
an old man singing
I willed my mind there
away
inarticulate hurt and rage left a fallow mark
I have a few white hairs
little lightning strikes
a few razed tendrils
a bloodied forest
in my chest
I choked on fire
in my chest
I choked on fire
when i am made love to
i feel like a drowning man
teased with death and then saved
a tempest tongue skirting and drifting over my flesh
like razor licks in silk
i love these mars in my being
it was too smooth before
there is cement on my eyelashes
there is tango music coming through the cloth barriers
the child is getting older
these words no longer burn my fingertips as I form them in code
there is tango music coming through the cloth barriers
the child is getting older
these words no longer burn my fingertips as I form them in code
sad crooked figures, awkward signs
I own and disown them in cold blood
in the motion of expulsion into the white desert
staggering lame onto clean pages
elusive monster
elusive monster
shimmer and dance
away from me
will you learn to seduce in tongues
or fall away
wanting
into the margins
faltering
true
it all depends on the light
I write this
on a greyhound bus
at 4 am
I stare at the road
I love the way the light
moans
trembles
as we move into darkness
Poem and painting by Clara Engel
CLARA ENGEL INTERVIEW in NAU NUA: UNDRESSING THE INSTINCT. Click here
CLARA ENGEL INTERVIEW in NAU NUA: UNDRESSING THE INSTINCT. Click here